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SYN 90.7

2 for 1 Eliminations: The Bachelor Recap S5 E13

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It’s episode 13 of the Bachie and we are SO CLOSE to Hometown Visits! And with a number as unlucky as 13, there are bound to be a few surprises in store!

We begin with the girls heading off to another compatibility challenge. The 6 contestants remaining have to rank themselves on qualities like “down to earth-ness” and “sense of humour”, and Non-Intruder Elora is determined to win this challenge, even if she pisses off the entire house while doing it.

Qween Tara ranks herself as the funniest, and no one contests it. #slay

Non-Intruder Elora also thinks highly of herself as being “the most considerate”, despite trying to make out with their shared boyfriend in front of every girl at last week’s Cocktail Party. ~eye rolls~

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But there must be a winner! Georgia Love 2.0 and QWEEN Tara are booted from the challenge for being genuinely nice chicks, so it’s Exotic Florence, Coal Miner Cobie, Non-Intruder Elora and Hockeyroo Elise left fighting for one-on-one time.

The next challenge, the girls have to align their deal breakers with Bachie’s. The person that aligns the least with Bachie’s is out. Hockeyroo Elise and Non-Intruder Elora tie for the challenge.

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Now the two girls have to go and write wedding vows to prove their undying love for Bachie and remind him that their ovaries are ripe for the picking.

These “declarations of love” must now be read out to Bachie, while the 4 other girls watch on in a separate room. There’s lots of ~feels~ and it’s weirdly vibing okay with the girlfriends.

Hockeyroo Elise is then whisked away for some third wheeling time with Bachie and James Blunt, who must have an album out soon. He sings some weirdly upbeat yet depressing tune about how love is a lie, and then Hockeyroo Elise and Bachie swap saliva.

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The only appealing part of this date is Elise’s wrap dress and Bachie channeling Grease Lightening.

The next day, Bachie invites Cobie Coal Miner on a dumping date. He tries to lure her into a ropes course, leaving her dangling for dear life, but much to his disappointment she succeeds and follows his path.

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The hunt continues into the night. Bachie forces Cobie Coal Miner to express all her ~feels~ for him: I do genuinely have feelings for you. Then he proceeds to squash said ~feels~ because he can’t wait to see where those feelings go but that spark’s not there. BRUTALITY AT IT BEST, COBES! She’s seen to the car.

Osher then arrives at the Cocktail Party where all the ladies are waiting to see their boyfriend. He announces, with a grin, that his unexpected announcement pre-Rose Ceremony must be stressful. The girls learn that Cobie Coal Miner has been dumped, and all look shocked except gleeful Non-Intruder Elora. Just wait your turn, mate.

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Now for the plot twist! Bachie will be booting another girl at a Rose Ceremony. It’s no surprises here as Non-Intruder Elora gets the flick because a trip to her hometown, Tahiti, would blow the Channel Ten budget.

With Elora shook, the remaining contestants once again try to prove their “most considerate” status in the house by feigning empathy as they hug her goodbye. So long Non-Intruder Elora! We won’t miss your conniving ways!

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