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SYN 90.7

The Caterer’s Sacked: The Bachelor Australia Recap S5 E8

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Welcome one, welcome all to the recap of Bachie ep 8, where we see the girls SHOOK over one particular lass landing a SECOND date with the Bach well before all the girls in the house tick off all their FIRST one-on-ones. The claws are out, the rumours are here, let’s get straight into it!

First up, Bachie has delivered Non-Intruder Elora with ANOTHER single date card.

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The duo do some lifeless word exchange over a massive hill, then they trek down to a swamp that we’ve definitely seen before in Bachelor franchise history.

Bachie whips out an inflatable swan for them to blow up for something to do other than make small talk. Then they take their clothes off and pash in the swamp, and respectfully ask the swan to float away.

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Non-Intruder Elora and Bachie share more one word answers until they pash again and a rose is delivered, only to reveal Bachie’s true plan is to ‘have sexy time’ with Non-Intruder Elora in a cabin overnight.

We flash forward to Bachie’s Jog of Shame. Running amongst the swamp forest, Bachie’s suspicious voice over informs us that he and Non-Intruder Elora simply ‘ended our date with a goodnight kiss’.

The remaining girls are transported to the swamp forest, rumours abuzz that Non-Intruder Elora broke Girl Code with her Bachie sleepover.

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The contestants are forced to complete an obstacle course and answer bizarre questions about their ‘compatibility’ with Bachie. AGAIN. Haven’t we had this pain enough?!?! Someone needs to come up with original group date ideas, stat.

Exotic Florence cheats her way through the course to finish the game first, motivated by not letting Non-Intruder Elora winning any more alone time with Bachie.

Exotic Florence confesses to Bachie that she pushed Non-Intruder Elora aside only because she has such strong feelings for him. Bachie is alarmed by her dishonesty but his ego is chuffed.

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Now for the Cocktaiiiiil Partyyyyyy!

Sharlene – WHO IS SHARLENE?!?! – approaches Bachie after what feels like a million years of deliberation at the party. She tries to make a funny to show how un-petty she is. I’m actually one of the Bachelorettes. I’m not the external caterer.

Sharlene tells him she’s sick of waiting her turn to get a single date and again, trying not to sound petty, informs Bach she’s spent, like, 27 minutes together.

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Bachie is miffed, so he sits her down and breaks up with her on the spot. Yeah. I’m. Thanks. Um, yeah. Yep. are her parting words.

NEK MINNIT Sharlene tells the girls she’s ‘decided to leave’. It’s obviously because Bachie’s not into pugs, doesn’t train in martial arts and doesn’t love musical theatre and not anything else, says Sharlene. Oh, Sharlene.

Bachie is getting sick of this crap, so also boots out Alix the Body Painter and Steph. And scene.

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Feature image via Giphy.

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