player one logo

On Air

Memesters Storming Area 51 Uncover Belle Delphine’s Bath Water – P1NG

11320508-3x2-700x467

20,000 Facebook meme warriors descended on Area 51 overnight. P1NG’s reporter caught up with a so-called raid leader, Leslie “Crypto” Karrancey.

“I mean, the event said 2 million, but you know how Facebook events are. Only 10 people came to my birthday party event, though 45 said ‘Going’, it’s pretty frustrating,” bemoaned Crypto.

Crypto and the memesters saw many things, that probably each deserve an investigation on their own, but one thing stood out.

“Belle Delphine’s Gamer Girl Bath Water!” yelled Leslie

“I would have been less surprised if we found aliens.”

A person from the American military – who spoke off the record – said the shitposters caught their bluff.

“We were never really going to shoot anyone over this, there aren’t any Deep State secrets or anything like that, this is just where we store our ‘stashes’, if you catch my drift.”

“Although, one of my colleagues, who I swear is crazy, probably will shoot you if you find what he’s stored here.”

One of the stashes in question is more than two dozen bottles of the Gamer Girl Bath Water, sold by Instagram influencer Belle Delphine.

Belle Delphine sent an email response to our inquiries.

“Look, I apologise to everyone still waiting for their shipment of the bath water, but demand from the military was huge, and you can’t say no to people who can both bug and bomb your house.”

“I will admit it’s made me a lot of money, but I never ever thought someone like me could get rich from the Military Industrial Complex.”

Player One is currently selling bottled Gamer Guy Bath Air, due to the fact that we don’t have a budget for bath water. So far, zero units have been sold.

Words by Stefan.
‘P1NG’ logo by Nick.
‘Player One News Gatherers’ (‘P1NG’) is Player One’s Investigative Journalism Unit

61642085_2645443485495511_7468384391811563520_n (2)

More by Player One

P1NG Sold Out

Santa Forced Onto Waiting List For Next-Gen Consoles – P1NG

The popularity of next-generation video-game consoles has seen Santa Claus unable to purchase stock in the lead-up to Christmas, P1NG can exclusively […]

20201115_141215

High Flying Fun With Serious Strategy, Player One Reviews: Jetboard Joust

  Unless you have been living under the biggest rock in existence, this year has been exhausting. It can be hard to […]

20201020_101813

Player One Impressions: Ray’s The Dead

  Ray’s the Dead is a narrative driven zombie action adventure game by Ragtag Studio, first announced way back in 2013. You […]