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Cash-Strapped Barnaby Joyce Forced To Buy Video Games On Sale – P1NG


New England MP Barnaby Joyce, who earns over $200,000 a year (more than $400,000 when he was Deputy Prime Minister), has called for the Newstart allowance to be raised, after finding out first hand what poverty was like.

“I now have to choose one AAA game this Spring instead of two. Sorry Borderlands 3, but I want that new Stars Wars game more!”, Joyce told our reporter in the local shopping centre.

“I can’t even buy Nintendo’s games anymore, they never ever bloody drop the price!”

When our reporter asked Barnaby if he ever considered more affordable indie titles, like Australia’s own Hollow Knight, the Nationals MP look confused.

“Indie games? Like the West-Indies cricket team? Huh?”

Suddenly, Barnaby Joyce pointed our reporter to a small shop in the distance. The store was covered in red stickers.

“I think EB Games is having a sale.”

Barnaby Joyce may not know it now, but he didn’t just find a sale.

He found hope.

Words by Stefan.
‘P1NG’ logo by Nick.
‘Player One News Gatherers’ (‘P1NG’) is Player One’s Investigative Journalism Unit

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